StarSaga Episode One : The Path of Feight

[JamesFate]

(couldn't sleep... so I decided to begin what I had planned... posting my story of course. =P)
I've told various people that I have been slowly working on a new story...
I'm morely known for writting dialogue and poetry, however... I think this time around I'm going to take this script to the next level... a full story.
This story is a distant echo of my real life, greatly exagerated into this epic tale
that I am now bringing to your attention. Its merely a draft, I expect to hear bad and good feedback alike. It is vital that I do. I am not one to take it to heart.
I have much respect for honest opinions and I would greatly appreciate them for that is the only way I can improve my skills.
There is more to this story as well... a soundtrack... visuals... I'm attempting to create all of the aspects of a full presentation simultaniously
writting the story itself seems to be presenting the biggest challenge thus far.
Please, help me become a better writter.

With that being said...
Ladies and Gentlemen of Dark Wind...
I give you...

"Star Saga"
Episode One : The Path of Feight


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The Prologue
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I am Feight, Commander in the Army of the Wave Existence.
For eons we have been at war with the Realm of Exile.
A neverending battle for the survival of the human world.
A battle between good and evil, love and hate, life and death.....
Recently, there has been talk that this battle shall never end until The Lord of Exile, has been terminated. To do so the human world must be purged and the wall that stands between the two adversaries eliminated. This process is known as the 'end of days' to the humans. I failed to see how this fixed anything, after all this very process will merely bring forth what the wave existence seeks to prevent. Overcome by disbelief, I consulted with my lord about what I had been hearing among the ranks. I learned that he himself had planned to carry out this very task.... ...I was lost....
I couldn't speak a word of protest from the shock of hearing it from the lord himself. He said that one wave knight would be born unto earth as a son of man and would thus await the purge. During they're time there, They shall walk a balanced path set by destiny. This path will be the road to ultimate balance between the two forces. Thus becoming not good nor evil, but neutral and
able to pass through the gates of Existence freely. The abilities needed to achieve the goal of assasinating Exile's Lord shall be obtained through life experiences varying pain, anguish, lost love, suffering, and obscurity. All memories of who they once were will not be implemented unto they're mind... for they must have faith, trust they're soul as well as they're lord to guide them and remind them. He dismissed me, however before I took my leave I had but one inquiry.
Only two wave knights are left in all existence. He had not decided on who to send. I volenteered to go in hopes of keeping Saraph safe within the Wave Existence.
He approved....
and thus began....
my path and the beginning of the end, for human existence.
As I walked toward the gate my lord spoke his last words unto me...
"Do not lose thy faith... When all seems lost and you have experienced true darkness... the light shall return."
I walked through the gate, taking my first step onto the spirit stoned path of souls, Leaving behind everything without question. It is true that I will indeed miss Saraph dearly.... but this is not the end, I will see her again. I doubt greatly that he would let me go so suddenly if he knew I wouldn't. I'm also quite sure there is a reason for his decision. He would never do something such as this without considering the humans safety.
Also, I have noticed that the population of the wave existence has decreased dramatically. The rate of souls leaving is nearly twice as much as the ones returning. If the purge follows through as planned it will bring an instant result of the war. Which if I fail, will be devestating to the wave existence.
Lastly, Due to the sacrafices and path of the chosen one, I decided
to go in saraph's place. I cannot allow her to be subjected to such a thing. Although she does have sufficent strength... I believe she would succeed...
but the cost for that.... is what drove me to go.
(ugh... random thoughts... once again i've jumped in without planning things out first.... She is going to be more upset then glad when we meet again.)

[JamesFate]

-------------Chapter One : Awareness

"No words can explain... No words can fill the name.... The dream I had that night.... The feeling that I fight.... I'm destined for so much more.. I feel it now... what do I live for... Fear I've never felt... emptiness I never had, and my unconcious resistence for you... It makes me so very sad."
-Feight- "Awareness"

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The Story begins.....
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A young man stands on a cliff looking down at the city laying below within the darkness of the night with lights twinkling as the stars above it. He wears a full length leather coat that covers his long sleeve, black, cotton shirt with strange characters embossed onto each arm. The shirt extends down to his dark blue jeans with a blue dragon stiched down the left leg matching the right leg, carrying rips and tears at the hems that rest over his black boots. The boots cordinate with the black leather cut off gloves and headband with "F8" stiched upon the front in red letters. He clinches a cold hard steel chain that whips around his hand and links to his left belt loop where also rests an excessively long leather belt that hangs down extending to his left knee. The wind brings his attire to life while making his long hair dance behind him gracefully in the darkness. He continues to stand with his eyes closed, facing the heavens as the light from the moon escapes the clouds and shelters itself against the cold and pale surface of his face. A silence smoothers the air as Feight takes a breath, his right foot steps inward as he swiftly positions his fist over his heart as if he were saluting the moon. A small blue twinkle of light sparkles in the sky... He opens his eyes and looks foward as the twinkle flashes into a beam decending directly onto Feight, who is extending his arms outward to accept the gift from the heavens. the beam fades... Feight retracts his arms to his side as he opens his eyes and then smirks at the moon.
"Feight!" said a familiar voice to the man.... "yes?" he replied as he looked about attempting to pin point the location of the voice. "wake up!" the voice said as everything turned to ash he woke up...

[Andrew]

I like how it's directly correlated with your own personal life James. For many, it's very difficult to reflect one's true feelings in literature without directly revealing life's situations.

Some things that may help your writing be more fluid is the disposal of run on sentences. For example: "He wears a full length leather coat that covers his long sleeve, black, cotton shirt with strange characters embossed onto each arm tucked neatly into the waist of his dark blue jeans with a blue dragon stiched down the left leg matching the right leg, carrying rips and tears at the hems that rest over his black boots which cordinate with the black leather cut off gloves and headband with "F8" stiched upon the front in red letters." The detail is great here, you just need to cut it in pieces that the reader can digest.

I look forward to reading more bud. I'm excited to see in which direction the story goes.

[JamesFate]

thank you. I'll work on it and see what I can do to chop it up. and the ruling on posts is really yucky.... >_< Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading StarSaga as I do reading The Chronicles of DarkWind in addition to your chess story. The descriptions get less depthful throughout the story. Only certain things are so detailed.

[JamesFate]

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Existence : Realm of Humanity
Time Remaining -------> 5 years
Setting : City of Napolis "The Crossroads of Unima"
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Character Profiles:
FeighT
Age: 16
HomeTown: Napolis
Occupation: Student / street fighter
Interests: martial arts, music, sports, writting poetry, video games
Qoute: "Stand in my way and you shall become one with the path I walk on." -FeighT-
Current affiliation: None
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Selea
Age:16
HomeTown: Napolis
Occupation: Student / card player
Interests: Ju Jitsu/Karate, singing, writting, drawing, card games
Qoute: "If the world were mine... I'd give it to you." -Selea-
Current Affiliation: None
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He wakes up in the comfort of his bed within his room... He looks over and notices his 10 year old sister, Melis standing next to his bed glaring at him. Feight sighs and mutters "damn.... late again...". Melis throws Feight's uniform at him and says with a tone of annoyance "what the hell are you waiting for? get moving!" Melis walks out of the room. (Damn kids...) Feight thought to himself as he got out of bed and threw his clothes on. He then blazed through the bedroom door. On his way down the hallway he quickly opens a closet, grabs a backpack, then bolts down the hall. As Feight swiftly moves through the living room to the front door his father Jes, says with disappointment "I'll drive you... get your ass in the car." The middle-aged man stands up from his chair and walks towards his son at the door. Feight sighs, walks outside to the car,opens the car door and sits in the passenger seat. The teenaged hell raiser waits, tapping his fingers he rolls his eyes becoming impatient as his middle aged father finally appears in the front doorway of the home and starts toward the car. "meh, c'mon man I could've been halfway there on foot by now!" Feight shouts. His father stops and replies "hah, your more then welcome to walk, kid. have a nice trip." his father turns and walks into the house. Feight pounds his fist into the dash board and growls. (to hell with it... I just won't go today.) Feight thought to himself as he exits the car. The small teenaged boy slams the door with so much force the glass explodes, sprinkling all over the pavement. Feight flips the car door off, walks to the side of the house and opens the shed doors. Peering into the dark and dusty shed at his motor-bike, Feight walks in and sits on it for a moment. "Feight!" a familar voice shouts from the street. "huh? Selea?! Why aren't you in school!?" Feight replies as a slender, long black haired girl wearing an identical uniform approaches the shed. "The same reason you aren't, of course." she said as she smiled. "I see..." Feight replied as he found himself starring at Selea and quickly looks away. "anyway... I'm not going to Kithly today either." Feight said as he began walking the bike out of the shed toward the driveway. Selea follows him and asks "why not?". Feight stops and shrugs continueing to look in the opposite direction and asks "do I really need to answer that?". "umm, I suppose that was a stupid question..." said Selea who then asks "do you mind if I join you?" "not at all. hop on." Feight replies. Selea hops on the seat wrapping her arms around Feight's waist. He smirks with a "heh..." as he starts the bike up and hits the clutch. They scream off into the harizon. Feight's father runs out to the street and shouts at the long since departed couple "Damn you, Feight!!!"

[JamesFate]

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They stop at a hill hidden deep within a wooded area not far from they're neighborhood....
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Feight and Selea sit together underneath a tree on top of a steep hill thats dressed in short, green blades of grass which gently bend against the breeze in unison with the leaf filled branches of the trees surrounding the area. They look ahead to the sky as the clouds grant the sun its rays for brief moments to generously illuminate the area surrounding they're shade provided by the tree. "Feight." Selea said as she was interrupted by feight "I apologize, I know... but it cannot be helped. I've just not been myself lately... I'm fine, I'm just alittle confused about some of the dreams I've been having recently. in addition to some strange feelings." Selea looks at Feight and shakes her head as she chuckles... "What is it?" Feight asks.. "Your reading my mind again...." Selea said as she looks away from Feight and continues "My mind just feels so exposed when I'm around you somtimes... You can read my thoughts so easily." Feight puts his arm around Selea and guides her to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Feight takes a deep breath and says "Only when you speak and I'm not focused on anything else.... I can hear your thoughts in the tone of your voice. I just know what to expect, love. nothing more..." he closes his eyes as he continues "The instant I hear your voice.... its as if... at that moment everything your about to say has already been said."
"Hmm..." Selea replies yet inquires directly after "So, what are these dreams.... and these strange feelings?" "interested in my issues are you? thats odd." Feight asks as he looks down into Selea's eyes which have been locked onto him all along... The area is suddenly abandoned by the two voices for a brief moment before Feight squints and quickly looks away again. "The dream and the feeling are equally disturbing... In the dream I'm standing on a cliff over a city that 'isn't' Napolis, I summon a light from the sky which beams down piercing my soul... in the dream I felt as if I had just been bestowed incredible strength. after the light left I was waiting for someone to arrive before I woke up..." silence once again dominates the air for a moment. Selea continues by inquiring "and the feelings?" as she removes her head from Feight's shoulder and positions herself sitting infront of him looking directly into his eyes... Feight's eyes flow with fear and suddenly he finds himself dropping his thoughts and juggling his words... "I...The dream... uhh.. I mean... the feeling... is... ....infact..." Feight is interrupted by a voice thrown from the bottom of the hill "Selea!!! Feight!!!" Feight swings his attention to the young man who shouted as selea falls forward into Feight's lap... she remains with her head plastered face first into his chest as she mutters "ugh... damn it, Leon and his ironically, impecible timing..." "hey Leon!!" Feight shouts as he waves to Leon standing at the bottom of the hill, Feight says under his breath to Selea who is picking herself up, "So... I wonder how he knew where I would be." Selea's face begins to turn red as she turns away from Feight with a pouting "hmph". Feight smirks with a "heh..." as he stands up and runs down the hill to greet an old friend. "Sup, Feight" Leon said as he extended his fist "sup" Feight replied as he smacks his fist over Leon's. "I see you two didn't make it to school either. I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Leon asks followed by a grin. "Not at all, infact I think you just saved my ass." Feight replied with a chuckle. "your welcome then." said Leon. "thank you" said Feight just before he is suprised by a glomp from Selea. She continues to hang on his back while he and Leon continue to converse. "So... What brings you here, Leon?" Feight asked while he hooks his arms around Selea's Legs holding her onto his back. she gives a "hee", grining as she rests her head on his back. "Well... I didn't goto school because I was hoping to spar a bit. I came here expecting to see you conditioning." said Leon as he began shadow boxing. "hah, I see." Feight replied as Selea slides down his back, sits with her legs crossed and scoots away. "well then... shall we begin?" asked Leon as he slides his steel knuckled, black gloves on and clinches his fists. "Indeed, sir... Let us rock." Feight replied as he closes his eyes positioning his hand infront of his face and glides his hand foward then steps into the L stance. "no stick?" asked Leon with a snicker. "suprised? I need no weapons... come now, Leon..." Feight said but also continued, while Selea said the rest along with him. She shoots her hands into the air with excitement "Show me your strength..... Give me your Hate!!!" Upon the word hate being said the wind became violent, Leon stands stunned as Feight opens his eyes standing before Leon awaiting his opponents first strike. Leon snaps back into the zone leaping at Feight with a jump kick, Feight blocks and grabs Leon's foot before he lands and swings Leon through the air and into the ground. Feight smirks as Leon swiftly hopped to his feet and glares at Feight. The young kick boxer charges at Feight and upon reaching him unleashes combo after combo striking the young hell raiser merely three times, continueing to hold Leon off, now blocking every punch and kick thrown at him. Feight notices Leon becoming fatigued. The moment the kickboxer tries to back away to regain his strength, Feight side steps Leon and slides his leg behind him causing Leon to fall backwards. Feight quickly steps back further and exposes his knee during Leons fall. The kickboxer is shafted by Feight's knee, continueing to lay there slightly stunned Feight raises his arm ready to chop Leon right in the face... However, He lets Leon roll off of his knee and back away. "Damn.." Leon says in disappointment as returns to his stance.
"I apologize, Leon... I have some frustration that must be released." said Feight taunting the young kickboxer. "wha... great. give em my thanks for pissing you off." Leon replied. "Will do.." said Feight stepping out of Ju Jitsu, and into some strange stance... with his arms out, bent at the elbow, fists up, standing straight with his feet closed in tight. "what the hell?" said Leon... "do not lose focus, Leon..." Feight said as he jumps, extends his right leg and spins attacking Leon's head... Leon pushes Feight's foot to the left forcing another spin as Feight decends towards the ground he uses the extra force for a triple spin kick, Feight's foot pounds into Leon's neck then shoves off of his shoulder, spinning into another hit in his ribs on the opposing side of Leon's body, shoves off of his hip, spins into a sweep from the original side of attack, bringing Leon to his back on the ground... The combo continues into a spin off from the sweep ending with Feight standing over Leon with his Leg pointing straight up into the air.
Straining his muscles in a slingshot effect. Feight Lets his foot storm down, the gusts sings with a gentle whistle as it blows the blades of grass out of the ground surrounding Leon. Feight stops his heel, making gentle contact with Leon's chin. "Wow, dude you've gotten much stronger.. Where in the HELL did you learn THAT?!" Leon shouted in envy before he stood up and brushed himself off. "I.... I don't know... how I did that." Feight answers with a sigh... "My turn!" shouted Selea as she stood up and began stretching. Feight acts as though nothing was said... starring off into the distance. "Fei? are you ok?" Selea asked as she flops her arms back to her side. "Fei?" said Leon as he looks at Feight with a puzzled face. "Somethings wrong." said Feight as he closes his eyes and clinches his fist. "Huh?" Leon and Selea said in unison as Feight pointed into the trees. "Show yourself." Feight demanded to the well hidden man. "who is it?" said Leon... "what the hell?" said Selea
A man wearing a black, cotton, hoody. Baggy dark blue jeans, and black steel toed boots carrying dual jitsu swords upon his back... walks out of the dense wooding into the simmering light of the sun. "Why are you hiding there, watching us?" said Feight with a strong tone as he points toward the man. "I had to see you with my own eyes..." the mysterious man said as a darkened circle forms below his feet. "what the...." said a shock stricken Leon. "What are you...." said Feight as he took a step towards the man clinching his fist, glaring at him with a murderous intent. "Finding it hard to fill that emptiness? that dark, deep, hole in your mind..." the mysterious man said. The man continued speaking... "that strange, yet proud, strong, voice echoing in the depths of your soul.. the one that tells you, that your destined for so much more...." Feight's glare doesn't budge as the mysterious man still continues to speak. "....you'll remember soon enough, Wave knight... The moment you do... I will become your greatest enemy." The mysterious man stated as he fell through the hole that formed in the ground beneath him. "wait!" Feight shouted as he ran towards the closing hole. "Feight! stop!" Selea screamed as she grabbed ahold of Feight's shirt, keeping her grip while being dragged with him. The circle fades as it completely closes... Feight comes to a complete stop. "damn" Feight says as He turns and kneels down to Selea... "I apologize, Love.... here." Feight said as he extends his hand to Selea and helps her to her feet. "Fei... what did he call you?" Leon asks as he steps towards Feight and Selea. "He called him, 'Wave Knight'...." said Selea as she squints at Feight's numb facial expression.

[JamesFate]

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Character Profile
Leon
Age:17
Hometown: Napolis
Occupation: Student / part-time playa (cough)
Interests: kick boxing/Karate, motor-bike customization, video games, sports, girls, rapping
Qoute: none
Affiliation: none
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"Fei? do you know what he ment?" asked Leon, "Feight.... whatever it is your going to do.... please take me with you." said Selea... "Hell is the only place I'm going without you." Feight replies "I'll follow you..." Selea added. "I've got your back, bro. I'm with you, til the end of everything." Leon states as he pounds his fist on his chest and nods his head. Feight nods and sighs. he then turns away from Selea. "Do you know what a wave knight is Fei?" Selea questioned with a thirst for knowledge. "no." Feight replied as he turns facing Leon and Selea. A silence overcame the three companions, Selea and Leon both carry a puzzled look upon they're faces. "Everything else that he had said....." Feight stated as he was interrupted by Selea asking "You hear a voice?". Leon releases a "uh..", Feight looks toward Selea and replies "Not exactly a voice... more like... a feeling... I wouldn't classify it as a thought.... I just... ...I am different then other people... I feel more aware of it now then I ever have. As if I serve a greater purpose in this world. Perhaps a hidden part of me is about to be revealed... a part that lies dormant in my sub-concious self or spirit." "destined for greater things, eh?" said Leon as he walked over to his motor-bike parked at the start of the trail leading out to the alley of the their neighborhood. "Yes.." said Feight as he stepped away from Selea and started towards the hill. "Your not alone, bro. I've been noticing some odd things as well... ever since the 'eight' of us met. That feeling you have... I have one myself." Leon said as he sat on his motor-bike. "oh?" Feight replied as he continued to walk. "I.... I have it to." said Selea as she begins to follow Feight to the hill. "you to? hmm... I'm getting a feeling that it won't be long before we find out the truth behind all of this." said Leon. Feight stops and says "You both, seem as sure about your own instincts as I am." Feight continues walking as he adds "To me you were apart of 'everyone else' until today." Leon smirks as he kick starts his motor-bike... the engine roars while Leon shouts "that makes two of us." just before he burns down the trail through the woods. Selea runs to catch up to Feight and asks, "Feight... What are you going to do?" They continue to travel up the hill, Feight replies "I am going to find out what I need to do." "how?" Selea asked as they reach the top of the hill. "I do not know. For now all I 'can' do is wait. continue to go on as if this day did not take place, until the answers come." Feight replies as he sits back down underneath the tree. Selea stands over Feight and shouts "So your going to just... sit around? and do nothing!?" "ugh... listen well, love. . If I am indeed destined for something more.... then it will happen. regardless of what I do." Feight replies as Selea lays down upon the grass with her head resting in Feight's lap gazing at the clouds drowning the afternoon sky. "For now... just exist with me." Feight adds as he looks down into Selea's eyes and presents his rarely seen smile.
Selea smiles back as a slight trinkle of rain falls from the heavens. Feight releases an "ah..." as he looks toward the sky. "rain..." Selea says as she closes her eyes and falls out of reality. Feight slowly gives chase resting his back against the tree trunk.
(Who was that guy.. he used magic... That sort of thing isn't supposed to exist anymore.. and he called me. wave knight..) (the dreams....) (why do I feel so different.... why am I repelled by her.... Its as if something shoves me away the instant something is about to happen between us... ...am I.... afraid? The feelings that rushed through me.... are something I've never felt before.... and yet they are familiar at the same time...) Feight randomly thought to himself as he was drifting into his slumber. Feight and Selea rest, protected from the tears of the sky by the tree's wing of leaves and branches.

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Yet another strange dream comes to Feight....
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Feight wakes up. Selea is no longer laying with him. The area has been drowned in the darkness of night.
A strange misty blue and white lightened sphere shaped materialization hovers over Feight who still rests his back on the tree.
"Good Morning Feight..." it says, sounding as if it were a distant echo. "Who the hell are you?" Feight asks as he stands. "A friend" it replies.
"more importantly 'what' are you?" Feight asks "A soul. Theres no time for that now Feight." the soul replied, "How do you know my name?" Feight asks with a puzzled face. "You shall soon remember. I am here to help you do just that, to guide you to the long lost memories of your past. Come now, Feight I have a task for you and your insturment." said the soul as it hovers down the hill to the moonlit circle in the clearing. Feight cautiously follows the soul to the circle. The soul explains the task to Feight. "Scattered through out the region are six enchanted pillars. Each pillar holds a 'wave note' which can be released by a wave knight's hand on the ruby like stone that is encrested on each pillar. The stone will glow and sing the 'wave note' one time and one time only... forget the note and all is lost with it." The soul explained, "what is a wave note?" Feight asked as he notices his electric guitar is on his back. (what the hell? I left that at home... and where is Selea...) he thought to himself before the soul answered, "The wave notes can be played by anyone... but when the notes are combined in the proper way and played by a wave knight, they can strengthen the user, summon unseen forces to attack your foes, unlock doors, tweak with time, or even return memories from the soul to the mind." Feight stares in amazement silently, "..." . "Of course the wave notes can be used for hundreds of other things. these are just the most common of they're effects." the soul added.
Feight presents his last question to the soul "Ok, so how do I find the pillars?" "Each pillar also holds spirit energy which resonates a tone only wave knights can hear. The closer you get to it. the louder the tone becomes." the soul replies as feight's eyes widen having been enlightened, Feight says "So thats..." which is interrupted by the soul answering "Yes, the tone in your ear is basically your spirit guiding you to where you need to go." "I see..." Feight says as he closes his eyes focusing on the tone.
The soul's words bleed through the tone "Good luck, Feight. When you've accomplished this small yet time consuming feat, you shall remember all the events of your past life." "Right. I'll get started immediately" Feight said as he rushes off to find the pillar. Feight slowly disappears into the distance.
The former wave knight jogs down the wooded trail for awhile, but then suddenly stops... "wha... what the hell... is going on? This can't be... Why is the trail so long... why do these woods... seem so much deeper...... I should've been near the end of the trail by now leading out to the alley." Feight said to himself catching his breath. He releases an "ugh..." in his exhale as he closes his eyes and deeply focuses on the resonating tone of the wave note in the wind. He squints and runs off of the trail, hurdling over toppled trees, bushes, and puddles which are drowned deep within the darkness. "odd... I somehow still know where everything is...." Feight says as he continues to pursue the tone. He comes to a wall of brush and branches, without hesitation Feight dives through them rolling on the ground upon impact to his feet. "ah...." Feight says as he is now in a small circular clearing in the woods. A tall stone pillar with many manifestations engraved upon its surface stands towering above the trees. Feight walks slowly to the pillar, he looks up and notices three large gem like stones, the left one azure, the center obsidian, and the right crimson... All embedded into the pillar high above. Near the base of the pillar resides a smaller crimson gem like stone which presents the former wave knights reflection. "hmm" feight said to himself as he closely examined the stone... Feight shrugs, removes his glove from his right hand and lays his bare palm upon the crimson stone's surface.
Upon touching the surface of the stone darkness overtakes the lightened area. Taking all things hostage in its shroud. Feight begins to breath heavily looking about.
He realizes his hand can no longer feel the surface of the pillar. "What is this..." Feight says calmly to himself, he hears his voice echo in the distance. Feight releases a "hmm..." as he slides his glove back on and weilds his electric guitar. "maybe..... couldn't hurt to try." Feight says just before a materialization of his previous self appears before him. "Who... are you..." Feight said to the materialization. "You look... just like me..." Feight added. "I am..." said the materialization before being interrupted by a flash of light ransacking all visibility...